Here are some tips:
For someone you just met Always use a condom every time with no exceptions.
With a steady partner (someone you've been with at least 6 months) use a condom unless:
- You've both been tested for STDs including HIV (some STDs don't have symptoms and can't be tested)
- You're really sure that you are both only having sex with each other and not other partners
- You trust the birth control she is using
- You've talked about all of the above with your partner
Once you've decided that you want to use condoms or some kind of protection, it's important to think about how to bring it up in the conversation with your partner – whether they are a steady partner, someone you just met, or a one night stand.
Here are some tips for bringing up the topic:
1. Talk about it before the heat of the moment. Waiting until you're having sex will make it harder to stop the act and will make it harder to use them.
2. Say something like "I want to talk about using condoms when we have sex. I think it's important for both of us to be safe and I want to use them.”
3. Some partners will be glad you brought it up because they wanted to and were afraid. Others may be upset.
Some responses you may get are:
"Do you think I'm dirty?”, You can respond by saying, "I don't think you're dirty, it's just that we've both had other partners and sometimes you can have an STD and not know it. I just want to be careful because I care about you and me.”
"It's not as natural”, You can respond by saying "It may feel unnatural or weird, but it'll help us feel safer.”
"Have you been cheating on me?”, You can respond by saying, "No, I haven't, I just learned about all the STDs that are going around and I want to protect you and me from getting them.”
If all the reassurance doesn't work and the person still says they don't want to use condoms, maybe it's time to find a new partner.